Its been four weeks since I touched anyone.

It was actually slightly funny. I had tea and cake with a friend, the last tea and cake for some time. She is a dancer too. As we said goodbye she leaned in and I did the latin two-cheek kiss. Then we realised what we had done and she swore loudly as she walked off. Doctors should know better.

Its been over a month since anyone touched me.

I was at the university dance shows. I saw someone I know and offered my hand. They took it, joking as they did so. Wasn’t that funny then and even less so now.

Its been six days since I spoke to someone directly.

I ran into someone I know at the checkout in Waitrose. We walked back along the road, keeping the mandatory distance. That was my first face-to-face conversation in nearly a fortnight.

Its been five months since I kissed the woman I love.

I probably never will again, or at least not that way. Even now, the thought makes me want to cry. But when I was down and lonely she called. Maybe love can endure in some form?

Yesterday I had a virtual lunch with a friend.

I try to reach out to someone every day. Sometimes it is someone who I used to see regularly. Sometimes it is someone I haven’t seen for a while. Sometimes they are far away, but technology means they are effectively as close as my friends 50m away who I now have to video call to speak with. But we are staying connected.

Its been four years since I have seen my niece. I have never seen her children.

But I still love her and she loves me. Maybe she’ll read this and be reminded of it. Maybe she won’t. We will meet again and will know that. Even in this crisis, I won’t speak with everyone but that doesn’t mean I don’t care or they don’t care.

Its been nine years since my father died.

I know several people who have probably had COVID-19 and recovered. I suspect I will know someone who will die from this. Maybe someone I know already has and I haven’t heard. I wish it wasn’t so, but I have to prepare for it. The selfish part of me hopes it isn’t someone close, but I know that even if they aren’t close to me they will be close to others. Its going to be hard on us all.

Its how long until we get released?

As a species we are really bad at dealing with uncertainty. Even though I usually work from home, I have found focusing hard. My sleep is a bit disturbed, normally a sign I am stressed. But that’s ok. Its ok to be a bit off. Its ok not to have learnt a language, written a book or produced a video series. My desk is the cleanest it has been ever though!

A week ago I had a ten way video call.

Times like this can bring out the best and the worst in people. I walked past someone earlier and she just smiled at me. Maybe it was the mask. Sometimes I reach out to someone for a virtual tea and nothing happens. I hope they are ok. But I have been to the theatre and classical concerts and a film festival. I have had virtual dinners and lunches and teas and chats. My friends have been great. They are there for me and I hope I am there for them.

We will get through this.