Those who know me well may be aware that I’m a steady reader of blogs. One of these is Tim Urban’s Wait But Why. He doesn’t post very often (a bit like me), but when he does its a high quality long-form piece that really digs into something (so really nothing like me at all). Apart from the art, which is usually crude but strangely effective. I can only manage crude, unless I’m taking a picture. Anyway, his most recent post was a mailbag. His readers (I’m so jealous) sent in a load of questions. And, as we like things to be about ourselves, I found myself thinking about how I might answer some of these.

But this is the internet, so I can ask myself these and see how I answer. I’m not going to answer them all because

• (a) sometimes Tim’s thoughts are so good that its hard for me to say anything different; and
• (b) some of them are for HIM – I don’t live in New York, I’m not called Tim and I haven’t written his book or other stuff.

Despite that, it seemed like it might be fun for me, even if, at best, only a humungously small fraction of the number who read his article will read this. But that means noone will accuse me of plagiarism either. On that silver lining, here I go.

Drugs: do you do them? what do you think of them?

For me drugs are strictly medical. I don’t even do legal drugs. I don’t drink alchohol or smoke as I’ve never liked them. Noone has ever offered me something at a party, and if they did I’d say no. A couple of times abroad someone has shiftily tried to sell me something, but still not tempted. And buying random drugs that way seems like quick way to get messed up. I’ve never been sure why they don’t appeal. Maybe I’m too uptight and a control freak.

I think the world is completely hypocritical about drugs and everyone is way more certain that they should be. Its pretty clear heroin fucks you up. Cocaine probably does too, but may take time. Weed isn’t as bad as the law suggests, but probably isn’t as perfect as the proponents suggest (a dinner party someone once argued that smoking it made you clearer and you would drive better?!?!) I’m sure there’s medicinal benefits, but at the moment that area seems dominated by spammers. I’m interested in psychedelics, as I’ve heard Tim Ferris talk about them benefitting PTSD sufferers and I wonder if they might help me. But this is all anecdotal crap – mostly I don’t think about drugs at all.

Why do we prefer to watch a film we haven’t watched before but we want to listen to songs that we have heard hundreds of times?

So Tim does a really good job on this, but could have gone further. The bottom line is each is a different experience. I heard someone describe classical music as something that people didn’t know what they liked, but liked what they knew. Good music rewards some effort, though there’s a balance, albeit a not so delicate one. We like to sing along to something we know well, but we often don’t like stuff that’s overfamiliar. Sometimes a hit gets overplayed and we want to move onto the next new song or album from someone. But this is delicate – was want the same, but different. Something that sounds like what we know we like. Most of us loved Ok Computer after The Bends, but Kid A was too different (I’ve recently listened to these in sequence again and nothing has changed).

Films can go along the same path, but we are looking for something else. Tim pretty much nails it with the story and the thrill of the unexpected, but we can appreciate the art too. Having had a tough week, I recently found myself watching a couple of familiar films for comfort. Sometimes I find the tension hard to bear – and at the moment my ability to do that is weaker than usual. But the extremes don’t deny the basic premise.

What age range do you currently think you’re most likely to die (disregarding cryonics)? Multiple choice:

1. 70–100
2. 100–125
3. 125–150
4. 150–250
5. 250+

I’m pretty confident of 70-100. Right now, my health makes me worried that something lower is possible, but 100-125 is possible. Tim looks at improvements and thinks longer is possible (4.). I’m more sceptical – a breakthrough is possible, but I think the odds are against it. 120 seems to be a big barrier. I’ll caveat that I’d guess he’s younger than me too, which improves his odds.

How do you fall asleep?

Perhaps annoyingly for some others, usually very easily. Sometimes I am kept awake by a thought, often involving some sort of conflict situation as these stress me out. I’ve found drafting an email sometimes helps (but never sending, no, no, no).

My sleep is very stress sensitive though, but this usually manifests as waking up too early and can’t get back to sleep. If I don’t get 8 hours in bed I struggle, so I’m very reluctant to get up, but its frustrating. I’ve been trying breathing exercises, centering in myself and focussing on it. It sometimes works, but I don’t seem to be very good at it. I’m open to suggestions.

What is the best permanent lifestyle change you made in your life?

I can think of two. When I started to hillwalk/climb and when I started to dance. Both have brought me huge joy in doing them and I met almost all my current friends doing them. Your mileage will vary, but they worked for me.

Do you have an inner monologue?

Yes, but not all the time. From what most people say, I’m typical in that my inner voice isn’t hugely positive. But its often got a huge hindsight bias – berating me for being so stupid (I have no shortage of flaws, but being stupid isn’t one of them!) I have learnt to cut if off or help it reframe a little. But I do suffer from thoughts rampaging off or recycling themselves (see the sleeping question above!) These I find harder to deal with, but its only relatively recently that I have tried to change the pattern. Hopefully my efforts will bear fruit over time – it’s hard to change in your 50s!

What really makes you angry?

A decade or so ago I would have said nothing, but that wouldn’t be true now. There’s still not much I would say I get angry at, but lots of stuff I find annoying. My anger seems to come out mostly at work, when frustration with others builds up over a long time. My desire to avoid conflict or by doing what I’m told when I disagree means that sometimes things are unresolved longer than they should. I hate being angry, because it leads to recycling thoughts and conversations when I’m angry are awful.

Things that currently annoy me:

• The new London Stock Exchange website
• Evernote’s disastrously implemented “upgrade” and their weak quality control
• my long COVID/post viral fatigue / whatever this is
• lots of things at work that shouldn’t be written publicly
• Apple separating app and system updates (bringing them together in one place was genius – why suddenly create two places for updates????)
• my inability to maintain a proper social life
• the boiler that was installed last year (don’t get me started)
• my broken oven (only this week – I will get it fixed!)

My favourite from Tim’s that I empathise with: When I’m watching something riveting on an airplane TV and the captain makes a long, drawn-out announcement

How do I get over a breakup if I’m still in love?

I’m still working on it. And that means right now. I’ve always taken a long time to move on emotionally, and it feels like there is a part of me that still loves my past loves. For me, it can be forever. I’m not sure this is healthy, but at least I am able to fall in love with someone new again anyway. But as Tim says, this is part of the human experience so in rational moments I do try to embrace it.

When parking, if both options are available, do you pull into the spot or back in?

I always reverse in when I can. Rarely, I am lazy or in a hurry or the car park is so empty that it doesn’t matter much. But then my favourite trick is to drive forward through a space into the opposite one so I can drive straight out.

What is the coolest magic trick that you’ve seen?

I so wish I had a good answer for this. I’ve seen lots, but nothing comes to mind when I’m asked. I liked magic a lot when I was younger, seeing it as a kind of puzzle, but Penn & Teller kind of took the edge off it.

How are you? Just checking in.

I have good days and bad days, but this fatigue means the good days are lower than what I would have called a bad day 18 months ago. I managed a 9km walk last week, at old man pace which was great. But the next day I was really crap. Mentally, I have done way better than I would have expected. Was struggling last month, but my health was worse too. Maybe its just complicated.

What is the silliest thing you have placed on top of your tortoise?

I don’t have a tortoise, but I find the idea of getting one appealing just now. Maybe I have spent too much time at home alone…

What should one do if a piece of media (book or movie or song) that holds some nostalgic value to you turns out to have been created by someone who’s a ‘bad’ human being? 

Tim pretty much nails this. I’ve just finished another Allan Quatermain book by Ryder Haggard. They are a bit ripping yarns, but some of the attitude to race is a sign of their times (though I suspect he was probably more enlightened than many then!) At least one Dickens book seems anti-semitic. Bond villains often have physical deformities. I enjoyed House of Cards, even after Kevin Spacey’s cancellation. So it seems I can separate someone from their art.

What countries were your absolute favorite travel experiences?

I am wondering if this whole post is simply an excuse to answer this question. It’s also what I am most looking forward to doing again, even if i struggle to reconcile it with my desire to be green. I used to list my big 4, but I’ve done more than that since.

• trekking the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal – I did this at 19 and it opened my eyes to the world.
• going on a Scout expedition to Gambia where we built classrooms in a couple of schools.
• ten of us went to Greenland – flown in, dropped on a glacier and picked up 3 weeks later. We managed some first ascents, and were all still talking when we returned!
• diving with whale sharks in the Galapagos
• drinking tea on a stall in Aswan, then being taken to a bar afterwards
• Bagan. Well Myanmar generally, and its a shame what’s happening to it now.
• trekking the Simien mountains in Ethiopia.
• overlanding through Namibia and Botswana.
• Angkor Wat and surrounding temples in Cambodia
• joining a whale research vessel in Australia.

How can I become a higher-rung thinker?

I don’t even know what this means, though I read the article Time refers to. Memory is a fickle beast.

If I had to give a tip for thinking better, it would be to make sure you have a variety of voices or perspectives in your inputs. There’s someone I know in Glasgow who’s stuff regularly appears in my Facebook news feed that, more often than not, I disagree with in some way. Strangely I value his presence more than people whose views are close to mine. It helps that he usually engages with disagreement in a way that suggests he understands there are different perspectives.

I was thinking recently about something I heard (I think on a podcast). A parent decided that whenever the family saw or interacted with someone being abrupt or inconsiderate or rude, the kids had to come up with three reasons why the person did that. I love this. If you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes, that goes a long way to understanding.

What are your favourite podcasts?

I so want to say my own one (The EIS Navigator as you asked), but that’s too obvious. I do love making it though. For listening, This Week in Startups is my favourite finance/startup one – Jason is killing it (I like I how I say Jason like I know him, though never interacted directly, but that’s what podcasts do). I value Econtalk for the same reasons as my answer to the last question – its a varied voice. The Friday Night Comedy podcast is consistently enjoyable too.

What is your favourite form of transportation?

Bizzarely, I am really close to Tim on this one. For a while I was zooming around on an electric unicycle. Even though I once broke my elbow with it, it was lots of fun. I have just got an escooter, which may be less fun but feels much safer. Am I getting old?

How do you feel about advertisements? Do they annoy you, or are you enticed about what they are trying to sell you?

I hate most adverts and try to avoid. I record tv shows rather than watch them live so I can skip the ads. Podcasts get the same treatment too.

In some ways, I am lucky. When I resigned from my job 15 years ago, I decided I had enough stuff and didn’t need to buy anything more. That hasn’t stuck – not by a long shot – but it has changed the balance of my life and adverts almost never entice me.

If you were forced to live in a country outside of the top 50 for 5 years, which country would it be and why?

This is a hard one for me. I love Edinburgh and can’t see myself living anywhere else long-term. But looking down the list, most of my first thought options disappeared reasonably quickly. Cambodia might be nice and laid back. Costa Rica has a strong appeal. But stick me somewhere with decent dancing, decent public transport and easy access to the countryside and I’ll be fine.

What is the best piece of advice you have received?

I don’t seem to be a big recipient of advice. I’ve read a lot, but I can’t think of being given any. There must be something about me that puts people off giving me advice. Which is a shame, because I want it. Lots of it. I’m as screwed up as the rest of you, if not more so, and need all the help I can get!

What are your thoughts on TikTok?

Social media is largely a mystery to me. When I first got Facebook, I was spent too much time watching the updating feed. After a year or so the novelty wore off, the auto update stopped and now I only check it in the morning. So my Asian friends get lots of love and my American friends don’t. I have Twitter and cannot make it useful or interesting. I suspect TikTok will never appear on a device I own.

Are you a tabletop gamer?

Yes, if that includes chess! Now, I haven’t played a meaningful game for 20 years, but that will change at some point. Curiously I have a cupboard full of my family’s boardgames but as I live alone they just gather dust. If anyone wants to come join and play one then let me know.

What supplements of multivitamins do you take?

For a long time, I was a supplement cynic. I eat reasonably well (so I have been told) so didn’t think I needed them. My blood tests largely confirm this, but I’m low in Vitamin D, like everyone else in Scotland. So been taking something with that for a couple of years.

Recently added a multi-vitamin to see if it helped with my long COVID-like symptoms as per a YouTube video I saw (its better than that sounds!) I felt it did help for 3 weeks, but not since. I’m on my last bottle and wondering if I should get any more or see if cutting it out changes anything.

What’s a recent embarrassing and/or interesting rabbit hole you’ve found yourself going down semi-unintentionally?

I don’t really do this much. I’ve set everything I can to not autoplay, so its hard for Youtube to suck me in (though the recent step up in advertising would have guaranteed that anyway). Sometimes I spend an hour reading a strange article I came across, but no rabbit holes for me. I have plenty other vices to worry about….

Would you rather be 11 feet tall or nine inches tall?

Big wins IMHO. Like Tim, I think small could be fun for a while, but there’s no chance of living the life I want. At 11 feet tall, I’d be eyed up as a freak, but at least I could do much of what I like to do anyway. Though I’d need a keyboard with huge keys. And shame my flat has only 10 foot high ceilings!

Can you suggest methods for dealing with the crushing realization that people you used to have a lot of respect for don’t hold the principles/values you thought they did and therefore might no longer be worthy of your respect? Especially close people like parents, teachers, mentors, and religious leaders?

Sadly, or fortunately, I’ve never found this crushing. I’ve never been one for putting people on a pedestal. If this was therapy, I’d talk about being let down by friends at an early age which has always kept my admiration in check as I suspect everyone can be an asshole if they are given the chance. More of a problem is my feeling of unworthiness of anyone’s attention, which is a kind of converse but not really what was asked.

What are your most left-wing, and most right-wing, political positions?

This is a hard one, partially as for some time I’ve seen the left-right spectrum as being somewhat one dimensional, and maybe not even a good one. Right now I feel the nationalism/community spectrum is more relevant in the discourse, especially with Scottish independence being a major factor in our current elections. For someone in finance, I am surprisingly anti-big business. I like small ones, but don’t like the political power that large companies wield. Or their monopoly powers, which is why I see this as a right-wing, free market thing. And don’t get me started on national champions. Left-wise, I’m leaning towards ensuring that everyone can at least sleep and have shelter, though I don’t have a “perfect” policy to get to that.

Do you plan to write updates for the AI and SpaceX posts?

No, as I’m not Tim and didn’t write these.

What conspiracy theory do you think is most probably true?

I’d like to think I’m a conspiracy theory sceptic but, having just read Mindf*ck about Cambridge Analytica, I may be more open than I was. I think parts of big business are doing their best to conspire in secret, or in coffee shops a la Adam Smith. I still wonder about a headline than appeared on my Bloomberg on 9/11 about fighter jets shooting down an airliner that day. Maybe it was a rumour masquerading as news, but I could believe that was hushed up.

What’s your best advice for someone moving to NYC?

Don’t. Seriously, its hard to get away from generic advice and I haven’t been there in over 25 years so what do I know? Its never appealed to me anyway. Maybe if we replace NYC with Edinburgh…

Edinburgh rewards exploring. Walk around. Climb a hill first. Check out the little closes. Buy a book on secret Edinburgh so you can discover the little things you would otherwise miss. Tim’s advice of doing the tourist things first is spot on. Though you can host for couchsurfing and play tour guide, which I enjoyed when I had the time.

Why the King of Spades? And are his eyes always looking up that way? 

No Kings here.

What’s a view/opinion you were holding for a long time but changed recently (let’s say in the last few years)?

This is one of those tests I think I should be better at than I am. I did think that rationality would prevail over nationalism, but I think I’m being consistently proven wrong on that. I did think VCTs were better for investors than EIS funds, but over the last couple of years I’ve realised its a much finer balance than I thought. A long time ago, I changed my view on the minimum wage, from it being a bad thing to a good thing. But this is work in progress.

How do you balance reading the news/staying up to date on current events with avoiding burnout and the feeling that everything is terrible all the time and nothing you do matters so why bother?

This one I feel I have got sussed. Mainstream media is mostly bypassed. I don’t watch tv news or read newspapers and only get a couple of minutes in the morning on local radio. If there’s anything major, the latter usually runs it. I do have various blogs, some of which interact with the news. Being a finance person I can’t ignore it completely. I’m frustrated a little by the US bias in my current media. I do have some BBC stuff in my RSS feed – they aren’t perfect, but again I usually get anything significant. I was about to write that I’ve learnt to live without the small stuff, but I don’t miss it.

Each morning, I read the BBC’s 5 things you should know about coronavirus. Its rare that even three of them will be something I’ll think of after that day which just confirms my stance.

You often mention being inspired and challenged by interesting conversations. How have you increased the proportion and/or frequency of these conversations in your life?

This is another aspirational question. When I was a fund manager, we were a member of a local finance forum where someone notable would give a serious speech, followed by a dinner. The conversations there were fantastic, with smart people providing a great variety of perspectives. Its one of the things from that time I miss most. For a long time, I’ve been working from home and can go a day without speaking at all.

But I have made progress on this, because I started my podcast. At least once every two weeks, I get to discuss something in-depth with someone interesting. Right now, its the best part of my life. And I’m writing this in lieu of conversation, or hoping to start one.

Do you have some tips of where and/or how to meet people who tend to think more high-rung, both online and in real life? Or is it more about recognizing them scattered throughout our lives?

I hadn’t really thought about this, but will be taking Tim’s suggestions and running with them.

What animal would you shrink down to pocket size (or the size of a coke can) to keep as a pet?

This conflicts me, because the idea of keeping something smart as a pet means confining it and doesn’t seem good to me. But, to run with it I’d like a dolphin. But only if it can live its best life and come back to me when it wants. I think I have just described a cat and I’m not a cat person. Hmmm.

Who is your favorite Tim Brian?

Obvious change to make (sorry Tim Ferriss as you miss out now!) But Brian Wilson (Beach Boys one) has done too much that’s amazing to ignore.

If you had power to dictate what should be taught in schools—things that everyone had to master before they get to enter adulthood—what would you add to the curriculum?

How to empathise and treat everyone with respect. No idea how you do it, but I want it. I also want an equal quality of education for everyone, regardless of how rich mummy & daddy are. No idea how to do that either. I’d add some sort of genuine creativity and problem solving – I have some sympathy with Seth Godin’s views on the topic.

I’d like a bit more computer programming. I think the ability to analyse a task, break it down and reconstruct logically would be helpful. And personal finance is a mess and leaves everyone open to cons.

I just started a new relationship. How do I not fuck it up and/or how do I make love stay?

Sadly, I have no idea. I seem to be not very good at relationships, so if you find out then please let me know.

Do you think, overall, covid accelerated progress of the human colossus or slowed down progress of the human colossus?

Yes. In the short term its pushed some things forward and slowed others. But I suspect it won’t make a huge difference to progress in the long run. It will make a big difference to culture and progress may be in a slightly different direction though.

Are you optimistic about the future of the United States?

Strangely, more than I was. I had very low expectations for Joe Biden as president and saw him as someone who would make little difference and, so, pave the way for a more competent version of Trump. But he’s been bolder than I though he would. Despite foreign policy being a mess, maybe the US has a chance.

What do you hope Gen Z does with the world?

I hope everyone makes the the world a better place, regardless of which generation they are in (better^TM as defined by me of course!)

If you were an omnipotent god for 24 hours, what would you do? After the 24 hours, you’d turn back into your regular self but still remember that day.

I’d get rid of nationalism. I used to say that it was a cancer on the face of the earth, and in my heart I still believe that.

My other dream is to find someone who can share love with me. If I could use it to find out who that person is then I’d do that. But I wouldn’t make them love me (though I know who I would make do that if I was that sort of person, but knowing it was fake would kill me).

Given time I could probably come up with a longer list. Doing something about climate change – maybe invent safe fusion or thorium energy. Stop a war or two. Maybe get rid of a few weapons. I’m sure there’s other good stuff, but its late.

What are your thoughts on Elon’s controversial side?

Sometimes I see a headline or a reference to a tweet from him and I think what a jerk. But then I remember that he’s attention seeking and either forget or feel a little sorry for him. He’s a genuine visionary, so kudos for that at least, but he’s as flawed as the rest of us too.

How was Burning Man?

Want to go. But maybe not for the whole time…

What’s your favorite thing that has come about because of something you’ve written?

I know – I’ve skipped a couple of questions. Bite me.

My favourite thing is when people think I’ve made an interesting point and I’ve helped them see something a bit differently. My early pandemic writing was quite good on that I think.

As for the future of Wait But Why blog / my life / me

I’ve never been much of a future planner. I plan specific things, but not the longer-term thing. That’s probably a bit of a flaw in my character, as things often don’t turn out as well as I’d like. I’ve always had a desire to be doing something interesting. For the last few hours that has been writing this. But just now I’m not doing enough interesting things in my life. My investment research has few intellectual challenges. The book is at the review and edit stage, which is more about the writing than the ideas. With no dancing anywhere, and health concerns, my biggest natural creative outlet has gone for now. No travel either. The podcast is the biggest plus, but I feel change needs to be a coming. My health makes me wonder how, but its got to happen. That, at least, seems exciting!